Best Birthday. EVER!

So my 20th birthday was pretty fantastic. It fell on a Monday, so I decided to take every opportunity to celebrate the weekend before.

Friday night I went to a movie with a guy I work with. It was really great to get away from work and hang out with someone I enjoy spending time with.

Saturday night was spent with two of my best friends. We had dinner and then just hung out and talked like old times. Every time we spend time together, which isn't very often, we always say we're going to do it more often. I wish we would actually do things more often instead of just saying we will. Sometimes my life is too busy for a social life and I HATE it!

Sunday was just another day at work and then homework. But Monday was the best day of all. I skipped all of my classes. (Come on, it was my birthday!) When my parents came home we all went out to eat at Logan's and my mom made my favorite kind of cake: lemon with cream cheese icing. :) But the BEST part of all was my best friend called me, long distance from Oxford, just to wish me Happy Birthday! If that's not an awesome bestie, I don't know what is!

Happy 20th to Me!

Woo Hoo! 20th post on my 20th Birthday.
I love Birthdays. They are so much fun.

I'm so excited to not be a teenager any more! I plan on having a lot more fun in my twenties than I did as a teenager!

Maybe my parents will stop treating me like a kid since I'm not a kid anymore.

Almost 20!

It is exactly two weeks until my 20th birthday! I have to say I am way more excited for this birthday than last year. I'm not sure what the exact reason for this is. I have not asked for anything for my birthday, so it is not the prospect of a great gift. Although I could think of a few things that would be great to receive. (Maybe my parents finally saying yes to a trip... I know, not gonna happen.) It could be the fact that I will no longer be a teenager. Thank God! It's just too exciting.
I really want to get together with my some of my closest friends and celebrate this birthday. Maybe that's why I'm excited. Who knows. I guess we'll find out in two weeks!

Missing Bernice

Oh I forgot to mention. My very best friend is at Oxford and I miss her terribly! I want to go visit her sooooo bad but I have the ridiculously over protective parents that won't let me leave the state let alone the country! It would be so fantastic to travel to Paris with her but my parents are dream crushers. I can only count down the days until she comes home and I can have my Bestie back!

Random updates

Wow it has been a long time since I've updated! Time really does just fly by. Well let's see, what's new with me? We'll start with school.

The fall semester is half over and I am sooooo excited. Some days I enjoy my classes and others I can't wait to go home! My first class is intro to painting. I am currently on my second canvas. Painting can be very relaxing if you have some idea of what you are painting. I have no idea what I'm doing other than slapping some paint on the canvas. I just go with it and hope it turns out recognizable.
My second class is Digital Photography. Most days I love this class. I am very familiar with my camera and already knew a lot of good techniques. I really like the fact that we are learning a lot about photoshop. Again I already know some things about photoshop. The one thing that frustrates me is the stupid people that don't deserve to be in the same room as me. It is not difficult to use this program. You should only have to be told something once, not three times, before you can figure out how to use the program. It's not rocket science! Stop making it difficult!
Next we have my least favorite, Advanced Drawing. I never look forward to this class. I am only taking it because it is required for my degree. I do not possess the capabilities to draw something as I see it. I try hard but it never comes out right. I will not be surprised if I fail this class.
My Tuesday morning class is Graphic Design I. This ones going ok so far. There's not too much to complain about this one.
And last but not least we have Fundamentals of Communications, online. Yes that's right, I said online. I have three theories for how this class is going so far. One: all the students in the class are completely retarded therefore making my teacher think I am a total genius. Two: My skills as a writer are so awesome I do not have to make an effort. Three: my teacher is on crack. I'm really leaning towards number three. Here is why I think this. I have turned in numerous papers, all of which I have bull shitted my way through, and have received a 100%. I know how well I can write and these papers do not reflect even 25% of the ability that I have. I don't understand her grading. I cannot wait until this semester is over!

Work on the other hand is still going well. I am now officially a closing manager. This basically means that I do the same job I've been doing except I get paid 75 cents more. Whoo hoo! About two weeks ago I was given another responsibility. I now order all the gum and candy. It's pretty easy if you know what you're doing. The social side of work is still a little shaky. I know that I am a well liked person at work. The feuding is still going on between me and another girl. This doesn't really bother me at all because I will never want to be friends with that backstabbing bitch again! The good thing for me is that the majority of the people are still my friends and have taken my side. I did not ask for anyone to take my side. It is very comforting to know that these people have my back. They are like my second family and I will never take them for granted.

Unfortunately I am still living at home. Most days I survive but others I can't wait to have a place of my own! I keep telling myself just one more year and I'm out.
There is also nothing new on the boys aspect of my life. There is a guy I work with everyday that I am interested in but am too chicken to do anything about it. If things continue at this rate I will be single my entire life.

And on a final note I turn 20 in less than a month and am very excited!

End of Summer :(

I can't believe the summer has flown by so quickly! There are about 4 weeks left until school starts again. This is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. About an eighth of me is glad to go back to school. I enjoy the busy schedule I keep, trying to balance school, work and homework. I like to be busy. But the other seven eighths keeps saying I don't want summer to end. Soon the weather will be getting colder, and I hate cold weather! I will be getting less sleep from working and going to school almost everyday. Being busy is both good and bad at the same time. Another reason not to look forward to school is I will only have two semesters left after this one. This still scares me. I can't wait to be done with school so I can move out, but I also don't know what career I want to take yet. So many life choices to make. I hope these next 4 weeks drag on and on!

Venting

In the past few weeks some interesting events have occurred. Some coworkers that I once considered my friends betrayed me and it really pissed me off. You think you know someone and then wham, you have a knife sticking out of your back. Basically, a few of us were planning a trip and after working through the planning meeting, I was accused of making all the decisions and being the reason no one could agree on anything. Clearly I was not at the meeting and had no say at all in what we would be doing. I refused to associate with these people until I am given an appropriate apology from them. I do not see this happening anytime soon. If they want to continue acting like children that's fine with me. I do not need this drama or stress in my life. My life is much better with out them. At one point I called these people my friends and even hung out with them outside of work. Now I can see I was wasting my time and energy working on a friendship that was not worth the time. I am not naming names for obvious reasons. You know who you are, and you know what you did. I will continue to work at the job I have always enjoyed and nothing you do or say can change that. After this post I will no longer dwell on what once was. It is pointless to live in the past. Things were said, actions were taken and we cannot take them back. I will continue to treat you as if we were never friends and only speak to you when required for work-related things. Even if I were to receive an apology, I still feel as though this is a sign we were not meant to be friends. You know the old saying; I will not be fooled twice.

Well it's June already. I can't believe the year is half over. I figured it was time for an update. So let's see, what is new in Carissa's world.
Well, for starters, I officially survived my first year of college. Woo Hoo! I enjoyed my first semester at NWACC a lot more than I did at the u of a. All of the issues I had while attending the u of a, seem to have been resolved when I transferred. The classes are considerable smaller and after the first week I could see myself having a better experience all around. While there were tough assignments and large amounts of homework, I kinda felt as if I slacked off a bit more than I would have thought. Of course I passed all my classes with nothing less than a few 'B's, but if I had put a little more effort into some things I know I could have achieved the 'A.' Another plus about NWACC was I managed to make a few acquaintences. While at the u of a, the only person I ever enteracted with was a girl that I had no interest in talking to in the first place. I've always said "I'm going to college to get an education not make friends." And I still stand by that. But I have learned that there are advantages to talking to people and being friendly. Like for instance, studying for tests or discussing homework issues. At the u of a, I never would have bothered to express my problems with anyone in my classes. The majority of my classes were tollerable and I even enjoyed one or two. I am really looking forward to my next semseter.

Since school has been over for about a month now, this means summer time and lots and lots of working. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. I am working about six days a week and have 35-40 hours each week. This is very nice for the paycheck. I enjoy my job but there are some days that I come home and just want to crash because it was such a long day. Also, there are always those few people that you just don't want to deal with everyday. Summer time is awesome. I have a break from school. I have time to make plans and do whatever I want on my days off. But, while I am spending more time at home, since I don't have school to take up the extra time, I am continually reminded why I want to move out. I am never by myself. Either my parents or brother are always here. It would be nice to just have the house to myself once in a while. I also have the naggy parents. There's always something my mom is hounding me to do: clean your room, put away your laundry, clean up your stuff in the bathroom, don't make a mess in the kitchen, where are you going, why are you doing that, etc. I'm tired of answering to them. I'm 19 1/2 years old. I'm not 5!

While reading some of my older posts I began to reflect on my new years goals. I do believe I have improved in my judgement skills. Although I still am not comfortable with the gray area, I am learning to accept this. I do believe that I am more enjoyable at work. Unless you have really pissed me off, I am generally kinder in the way I speak to the employees. There are countless times during the day when I have to bite my tongue and keep from saying something that I know will definately get me in more trouble. I am still not spending as much time as I would like with my BFFs. I think I have spent more time with the friend that is only here a few months during the year than I have with the friends that live here in town. There are a few things that have changed that were not in my original goals. Almost every Friday, a few of us girls from work go out to dinner and just have a good time with each other away from Harp's. It's nice to get out of the house and to spend time with friends. I have also recently joined the gym at work. Although I am not going as often as I had originally planned, I do think I am getting some benefit from it. Let's hope the next six months continue in the positive direction!

College :/

College. Most students look forward to it; some can't wait to get out. I am somewhere in the middle of these. I'm not usually excited to go to school, but I don't completely hate it all the time. It's hard to believe that, hopefully, in a year I will be looking forward to graduation from college. In some aspects this is very exciting, but in others it scares the shit out of me. I will be glad to be done with college and start a new part of my life. However, it is the change that scares me. Once I get a job in the graphic design field, there will come the decision of whether or not to continue working part time at my current job or not. I love it there and am good at my job, but I don't see myself spending the rest of my life there. Then there is the question of moving out. I can't wait to have a place of my own. But there is so much to think about. Do I want to live in an apartment? Do I want to buy a house? Am I going to live by myself or find a roommate? These are the questions I have no idea how to answer. There are also fears I have about having a new job. Will I be able to do as well as I think I will? Will I be able to keep up with the rest of my coworkers? These are the things that scare me. But all these question will have to wait until then. For the time being I will have to concentrate on getting to that point.

New year, new goals

Goodbye 2008; Hello 2009! My, how the years have flown by. It seems like yesterday when I was starting my first year of high school, turning 16, learning to drive, getting a job. I can't believe it.
I've never really been one to make new year's resolutions. But this year, I think I will try and start with a 'clean slate.' In less than a week I will be starting my first semester at NWACC. While my first semester of college completely sucked, I am very much looking forward to a change. A change in schools, majors, scenery, classmates and much more. I will once again be working toward a goal that I somehow lost track of these last few months. I'm still trying to understand how I got here in the first place.

Not only am I starting over in college, but I feel I need to change a few things about who I am at work. I have been told that I am too "black and white." I never thought that was a bad thing. Until now. Our whole lives we are taught that there are rules and we must follow them. All of a sudden, I'm being told there is grey areas that need to be seen as well. Yes, these may be the rules, but they can be bent or altered as need be. So, this year, I will start by taking a step back and thinking, "What would the b&w me do?" and the alter that state of mind.

This is not the only thing I will change about working Carissa. On occasion I have been told I am mean when I ask someone to do something or the way I respond to questions. When I stop and think about this, I can't seem to figure out how this happened. Somehow over the years, my level of confidence has increased far more than I ever would have imagined. I guess the level increased a bit too much. So, in the future I will try to think (more) before I speak.

I feel my personal life also needs a bit of change. Although I work a lot, I have learned that it is good to get out and spend time away from the job I love and spend time with the friends that I love. I am going to make a larger effort to hang out with my BFFs. I miss them like crazy. I am also going to take more time to cherish the time I have with the people around me, whether it be family, friends or coworkers.

While 2008 had it's perks, there were a few not so good times of the year. We lost my grandma after months of hospital visits and finally putting her in a nursing home. Although I never felt as close to her as my other grandparents, it still hurts when a loved one dies. We also had tragedy strike at work. One of our cashiers of over a year died on Christmas. While it is still unknown what the true cause was, we all mourned the loss of our friend and coworker. She was fun to be around, always entertaining, a hard worker and was always someone to talk to. They say tragedies happen in threes, but we're hoping this ends at two. Here's to a happier, refreshing new year!