End of Summer :(

I can't believe the summer has flown by so quickly! There are about 4 weeks left until school starts again. This is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. About an eighth of me is glad to go back to school. I enjoy the busy schedule I keep, trying to balance school, work and homework. I like to be busy. But the other seven eighths keeps saying I don't want summer to end. Soon the weather will be getting colder, and I hate cold weather! I will be getting less sleep from working and going to school almost everyday. Being busy is both good and bad at the same time. Another reason not to look forward to school is I will only have two semesters left after this one. This still scares me. I can't wait to be done with school so I can move out, but I also don't know what career I want to take yet. So many life choices to make. I hope these next 4 weeks drag on and on!

Venting

In the past few weeks some interesting events have occurred. Some coworkers that I once considered my friends betrayed me and it really pissed me off. You think you know someone and then wham, you have a knife sticking out of your back. Basically, a few of us were planning a trip and after working through the planning meeting, I was accused of making all the decisions and being the reason no one could agree on anything. Clearly I was not at the meeting and had no say at all in what we would be doing. I refused to associate with these people until I am given an appropriate apology from them. I do not see this happening anytime soon. If they want to continue acting like children that's fine with me. I do not need this drama or stress in my life. My life is much better with out them. At one point I called these people my friends and even hung out with them outside of work. Now I can see I was wasting my time and energy working on a friendship that was not worth the time. I am not naming names for obvious reasons. You know who you are, and you know what you did. I will continue to work at the job I have always enjoyed and nothing you do or say can change that. After this post I will no longer dwell on what once was. It is pointless to live in the past. Things were said, actions were taken and we cannot take them back. I will continue to treat you as if we were never friends and only speak to you when required for work-related things. Even if I were to receive an apology, I still feel as though this is a sign we were not meant to be friends. You know the old saying; I will not be fooled twice.

Well it's June already. I can't believe the year is half over. I figured it was time for an update. So let's see, what is new in Carissa's world.
Well, for starters, I officially survived my first year of college. Woo Hoo! I enjoyed my first semester at NWACC a lot more than I did at the u of a. All of the issues I had while attending the u of a, seem to have been resolved when I transferred. The classes are considerable smaller and after the first week I could see myself having a better experience all around. While there were tough assignments and large amounts of homework, I kinda felt as if I slacked off a bit more than I would have thought. Of course I passed all my classes with nothing less than a few 'B's, but if I had put a little more effort into some things I know I could have achieved the 'A.' Another plus about NWACC was I managed to make a few acquaintences. While at the u of a, the only person I ever enteracted with was a girl that I had no interest in talking to in the first place. I've always said "I'm going to college to get an education not make friends." And I still stand by that. But I have learned that there are advantages to talking to people and being friendly. Like for instance, studying for tests or discussing homework issues. At the u of a, I never would have bothered to express my problems with anyone in my classes. The majority of my classes were tollerable and I even enjoyed one or two. I am really looking forward to my next semseter.

Since school has been over for about a month now, this means summer time and lots and lots of working. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. I am working about six days a week and have 35-40 hours each week. This is very nice for the paycheck. I enjoy my job but there are some days that I come home and just want to crash because it was such a long day. Also, there are always those few people that you just don't want to deal with everyday. Summer time is awesome. I have a break from school. I have time to make plans and do whatever I want on my days off. But, while I am spending more time at home, since I don't have school to take up the extra time, I am continually reminded why I want to move out. I am never by myself. Either my parents or brother are always here. It would be nice to just have the house to myself once in a while. I also have the naggy parents. There's always something my mom is hounding me to do: clean your room, put away your laundry, clean up your stuff in the bathroom, don't make a mess in the kitchen, where are you going, why are you doing that, etc. I'm tired of answering to them. I'm 19 1/2 years old. I'm not 5!

While reading some of my older posts I began to reflect on my new years goals. I do believe I have improved in my judgement skills. Although I still am not comfortable with the gray area, I am learning to accept this. I do believe that I am more enjoyable at work. Unless you have really pissed me off, I am generally kinder in the way I speak to the employees. There are countless times during the day when I have to bite my tongue and keep from saying something that I know will definately get me in more trouble. I am still not spending as much time as I would like with my BFFs. I think I have spent more time with the friend that is only here a few months during the year than I have with the friends that live here in town. There are a few things that have changed that were not in my original goals. Almost every Friday, a few of us girls from work go out to dinner and just have a good time with each other away from Harp's. It's nice to get out of the house and to spend time with friends. I have also recently joined the gym at work. Although I am not going as often as I had originally planned, I do think I am getting some benefit from it. Let's hope the next six months continue in the positive direction!

College :/

College. Most students look forward to it; some can't wait to get out. I am somewhere in the middle of these. I'm not usually excited to go to school, but I don't completely hate it all the time. It's hard to believe that, hopefully, in a year I will be looking forward to graduation from college. In some aspects this is very exciting, but in others it scares the shit out of me. I will be glad to be done with college and start a new part of my life. However, it is the change that scares me. Once I get a job in the graphic design field, there will come the decision of whether or not to continue working part time at my current job or not. I love it there and am good at my job, but I don't see myself spending the rest of my life there. Then there is the question of moving out. I can't wait to have a place of my own. But there is so much to think about. Do I want to live in an apartment? Do I want to buy a house? Am I going to live by myself or find a roommate? These are the questions I have no idea how to answer. There are also fears I have about having a new job. Will I be able to do as well as I think I will? Will I be able to keep up with the rest of my coworkers? These are the things that scare me. But all these question will have to wait until then. For the time being I will have to concentrate on getting to that point.

New year, new goals

Goodbye 2008; Hello 2009! My, how the years have flown by. It seems like yesterday when I was starting my first year of high school, turning 16, learning to drive, getting a job. I can't believe it.
I've never really been one to make new year's resolutions. But this year, I think I will try and start with a 'clean slate.' In less than a week I will be starting my first semester at NWACC. While my first semester of college completely sucked, I am very much looking forward to a change. A change in schools, majors, scenery, classmates and much more. I will once again be working toward a goal that I somehow lost track of these last few months. I'm still trying to understand how I got here in the first place.

Not only am I starting over in college, but I feel I need to change a few things about who I am at work. I have been told that I am too "black and white." I never thought that was a bad thing. Until now. Our whole lives we are taught that there are rules and we must follow them. All of a sudden, I'm being told there is grey areas that need to be seen as well. Yes, these may be the rules, but they can be bent or altered as need be. So, this year, I will start by taking a step back and thinking, "What would the b&w me do?" and the alter that state of mind.

This is not the only thing I will change about working Carissa. On occasion I have been told I am mean when I ask someone to do something or the way I respond to questions. When I stop and think about this, I can't seem to figure out how this happened. Somehow over the years, my level of confidence has increased far more than I ever would have imagined. I guess the level increased a bit too much. So, in the future I will try to think (more) before I speak.

I feel my personal life also needs a bit of change. Although I work a lot, I have learned that it is good to get out and spend time away from the job I love and spend time with the friends that I love. I am going to make a larger effort to hang out with my BFFs. I miss them like crazy. I am also going to take more time to cherish the time I have with the people around me, whether it be family, friends or coworkers.

While 2008 had it's perks, there were a few not so good times of the year. We lost my grandma after months of hospital visits and finally putting her in a nursing home. Although I never felt as close to her as my other grandparents, it still hurts when a loved one dies. We also had tragedy strike at work. One of our cashiers of over a year died on Christmas. While it is still unknown what the true cause was, we all mourned the loss of our friend and coworker. She was fun to be around, always entertaining, a hard worker and was always someone to talk to. They say tragedies happen in threes, but we're hoping this ends at two. Here's to a happier, refreshing new year!

Parents giving too much praise?

An article on foxnews.com today caught my eye: Study: Many Teens Overconfident, Parents to Blame. The article states that, after years of research by Jean Twenge of San Diego State University, compared to the 1970s, teens today are overconfident and are very unrealistic about future aspirations. Parents and teachers are the number one cause of this, according to the study. Parents give out endless praises to children inspiring them to do what ever they set their minds to. Teachers "give out" 'A's more often than they did in the 1970s. The study also states that statistics show students today have far less homework compared to 1970s' students.

When I was growing up, I remember my parents were always pushing me to have straight 'A's in school and to participate in AP courses or the gifted and talented program. This always bothered me. It wasn't that I wasn't capable of doing these things because I was. My parents always told me that I could grow up to do anything I wanted and that college was always in my future. They wanted me to have what they didn't have. I think this was common for most of the kids that I grew up with in school. The part that bothered me was the feeling that my parents were pushing their childhood aspirations on to me. They wanted me to accomplish what they never had the option to. This leads me to agree that parents are partly to blame for this new overconfidence. After being repeatedly told "You can do or be anything you want to be." you eventually start to believe that.

Other factors could be involved in this rise in confidence. If you think back to the 1970s there wasn't as many career options out there as there are now. This time period was on the verge of the shift from kids growing up and doing exactly what their parents wanted to kids having their own thoughts on future careers. This could have had an affect on the data that was collected.

I am very grateful that I did in fact take those advanced courses in school. I will be the first to admit that my high school courses were hard. I had homework every night. I also worked full time hours most weeks, sometimes getting overtime. But I still graduated with a 3.9 GPA, and I worked my butt off for it. While not all high schools are the same, I know that my classes were not as hard as they could have been. I've know others that went to various other high schools and had much harder courses than my AP classes. But I am going to have to disagree with teachers "giving out" 'A's. My yearbook advisor had a poster on her podium that I saw every day for three years. "I don't give out grades. You earn them." I witnessed this on every exam, homework assignment and class activity. Yearbook was not a free-for-all class like some thought. There was a certain amount of points you had to earn each nine weeks by taking pictures, writing articles, completing page spreads, selling ads or various other tasks assigned. I know some of the smartest kids that failed yearbook because they didn't participate or didn't want to put in the effort. So, no, teacher don't "give out" grades.

I'm don't know exactly where the research came from for this article but I think there are many factors to be taken into account for the way the statistics fell.

What do you Google?

The small portion of the news that I got to see tonight, after coming home from a long night of work, was a report on Google. According to the news, Google has begun to track the amount of searches for flu symptoms. Apparently this is helping to determine how severe the flu outbreak is in any given area. Is this really a good use of spare time and technology? I understand that this helps doctors and whatnot to determine where the flu is the strongest. But I don't understand why this is a legitimate source. I took AP statistics last year. I know all about the numerous forms of bias that can affect an experiment. This Google data seems to me like it would have a lot of bias. There could be numerous reasons why people are searching flu symptoms. They could be doing some kind of research for a paper. They could be bored and just be googling random things. I think we are all gulty of that every once in a while. But I'm also concerned as to why this made the local news. Northwest Arkansas must be a very boring, low crime, no news city for this to be important.